Have yourselves a Raging little Christmas

I've been suffering from a major case of writers block recently. Topics float into and out of my head, but nothing seems interesting enough to stick. Which is odd considering the last few weeks have been quite eventful. Maybe I'll get to that later.

However the Christmas number 1 song has interested me for the first time in ages. It was amazing to see a campaign started on Facebook a few weeks ago beat a 6 month marketing campaign watched on national TV by millions.

It was a bit of fun, anarchy in a safe environment. Not an anti-corporation protest, but just a demonstration that people don't like to be treated like idiots. I can only assume that The Climb was picked as it was already on Sony's books and cost little to nothing to procure. It certainly wasn't good enough to top the charts. It seemed like Simon Cowell thought he could put out any old tat and it would get to number 1. If the song had been half decent it would have been much harder, and if they had picked Don't Stop Believing the campaign would not have had a chance. (even Joe McElderry's version which is an out of tune crime against music)

Rage Against The Machine conducted themselves pretty well throughout this. They didn't ask to be used as the focal point, but proved to be eloquent and polite when questioned and were not afraid to speak their minds, which is becoming a rare occurrence in these days of ass-covering. Perhaps they were a little cheeky on radio 5 by swearing when they said they wouldn't, but it clearly did them no harm. The bands decision to donate all their profits to Shelter, on top of the donations made through the campaign, seems a perfect message to be sending out at this time of year.

Some people think it's a shame that young Joe is not getting "his" Christmas number 1. He won a singing competition, the prize of which was a recording contract. I don't think it said anything about getting a Christmas number 1. He has done nothing to earn a number 1.

Despite all this I'd almost guarantee that Joe will be at number 1 next week after all the final pre-christmas purchases roll in, and now there is no real competition. Hopefully this will be ok for Joe. Besides if he is that good, then his next few singles will all go straight in at number 1.

And on that I'm going to sign off.

Merry Christmas y'all!

Paris

A few weeks ago we went to Paris for a long weekend to celebrate my dear wife’s birthday. Although some time has passed since we got back, I felt I couldn’t let it pass without comment.

Paris is a truly beautiful city. From the moment we came out of the Metro at St Georges into a little green square with narrow streets running off it, it was a pleasure to behold. Over the next couple of days we visited all the major attractions we could, only missing the Louvre due to it being closed on a Tuesday, not a Monday as we thought.

First thing in the morning (11am!) we went to the Eiffel Tower, but the queues were quite long so we decided to return the next day even earlier. We then took a Batobus down the Seine to Notre Dame cathedral. One of the highlights for me was going into the cathedral. The sheer size of it inside was breathtaking, and the massive stained glass windows in the north and south wings were very impressive.

Sacre Coeur was a highly recommended attraction, and I enjoyed it mostly for the view over Paris it affords from the steps at the front. Though it was very (very) nice inside and out it could not compete with Notre Dame in my mind. The view however was perfect on the day we were there as the sky was clear blue and you could see all the way to the horizon. From our position we couldn’t see the Eiffel tower, but could see Notre Dame in the distance and even further away the Montparnasse tower, looking like a black monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey, looming over its surrounding buildings.

That evening we went for a walk, finding by chance the Moulin Rouge, before taking the Metro into the centre of Paris for a meal within sight of the Eiffel Tower and watching a cabaret show at Crazy Horse (my wife rocks!) before getting the last train home (they locked the gates after we left St Georges station, very lucky!).

Unfortunately it rained for most of the next day, but despite this we went up the Eiffel tower which gave great views again. I was very impressed by the Victorian engineering, but DW was less keen (certainly of the lifts) and would have preferred something a bit newer I think!

After that we travelled to L’Arc de Triomphe which again impressed me with it’s sheer size, walked a little down the Champs Elysses, and visited the Musee D’Orsay and looked at some painitings by artists such as Monet, Manet and Renoir. To be honest, art galleries are not really my bag, and we didn’t even bother going to see the Van Gogh paintings in the end. After that it was time to go back to the hotel for our bags and to head for the airport.

The food all weekend was amazing, even for us poor vegans! It helped that we found a vegetarian restaurant across the water from Notre Dame where I had the biggest vegan mezze platter in the world. Smoked tofu, seitan, grilled peppers and courgette, vegan coleslaw, a tofuburger and loads else, it was so good!

While Paris was excellent and the people very helpful and friendly, my French was appalling. Despite 4 years studying (admittedly finishing 17 years ago) I was unable to string 2 words together on the first day, mostly out of fear of embarrassment. I was getting more into it by the time we left, but still very slow and quiet.

The woman who asked me (in French) “Is this the stop for Charles de Gaulle” as we arrived at the domestic terminal stop caught me completely off guard. What I should have said is:

“Oui, c’est Charles de Gaulle. Mais il y a un autre gare en 5 minutes. Ici pour domestique, l’autre gare pour international.” (I think this is right, I haven’t looked it up)

However, as my brain was too slow at translating what she said, what I actually said was:

“Pardon, je ne comprends pas.”

Still, it’s the thought that counts and at least I answered in French.

The Phantom Menace

I had planned to blog last week about the above 10 year old film, but stopped as I thought "Nah, no-one would want to read that". Since then Andrew Collins has blogged about it, Richard Herring has tweeted about it, and it has been on national television at primetime. I did not watch it. After all that I decided to dust down the draft and post it anyway. You are free not to read it should you see fit.


It is 10 years since the release of Star Wars : The Phantom Menace. I wanted to write about this because, even after 10 years, it still irritates me for numerous reasons.


The original Star Wars films (the good trilogy) were part of my childhood, as I’m sure they were for many people. Because of this when the new films were announced in ‘95/’96 I was very excited.


Then Episode 1 was released. As soon as the opening titles appeared it was clear that something was wrong. Trade agreements and blockades didn’t sound very exciting, but maybe it would be ok.


No. It would not be ok.


What we got was essentially the plot from an episode of the A-Team (Helpless ordinary folks being bullied by an aggressor, the team come in and help fight them off, everyone lives happily ever after), with a tacked on story about how they found Anakin Skywalker. Or a story about how they found Anakin with an A-team episode tacked on, I can’t decide which plot arc is worse.


But there were worse things than the overall plot. In no particular order:



1. Jar Jar Binks. The much maligned possible racial stereotype CGI idiot. Clearly only there for comedy effect (but without any comedy) and to show off Industrial Light & Magics CGI skills, there was nothing redeeming about him. He did get his own usenet group though, alt.fan.starwars.jar-jar-binks.die.die.die.

2. The pod race. Added nothing to the story, and appeared to be there so they could again show off their CGI skills, have a chase scene (In the absence of proper space battles) and show how smart Anakin was.

3. The spaceships. The ships in the original trilogy were chunky, functional looking machines. A style that has been immitated many times since then (Battlestar Galactica, Stargate SG-1, Wing Commander, etc) as they look like they fit a purpose. However now, some 50 years or so earlier, we have ships like the sleek vessels of the Naboo and Gungans, which looked completely different. Why years later would the ships look so low tech in comparison?

4. C3PO & R2D2. Why are they even there? There are so many things wrong with this it makes my head want to explode. Anakin’s mother needs help around the house, so he builds her a protocol droid who can speak several billion languages and can’t walk properly or straighten his arms? I’d be grateful and all, but would ask if maybe he could make a cleaner droid or a child minder droid first. And R2D2 belongs to Obi-Wan? Ok that maybe explains why he knows where to go on Tatooine in Episode 4, but it’s still a bit of an awkward way to get a favourite character into the film. It gives the impression Lucas wasn’t confident enough in the new characters he had created (with good reason it turns out). The inclusion of these droids is nothing short of insulting to the intelligence of the viewer.

5. The Imperial Senate. Just how long is spent watching bureaucrats debating trade agreements and sanctions? It saps the life out of the movie and the viewer.

6. Immaculate conception. Turns out that Anakin was an immaculate conception. Seriously? Yes, seriously.



I could go on, but I’d really rather not for fear of injuring myself in a fit of rage. One plus from The Phantom Menace was that it was so bad I quite enjoyed Attack of the Clones by comparison (yes I continued to watch the movies) even though it is completely mediocre. I cannot recall anything about Revenge of the Sith except the hastily revealed Darth Vader at the end, whose low tech costume again stood out like a sore thumb against the sleek look of the rest of the film.


However I will say Ewan McGregor was excellent as Obi-Wan, and possibly played Alec Guinness better than Alec Guinness could have done.



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Gonnae No Drink So Much

On Saturday we were in Edinburgh for some shopping and went to Walkabout, the Australian bar in the Omni Centre. They were offering a new discount card, the Boomerang Card (sadly rectangular in shape), which gives you 25% off food and drink. Despite it costing £3 I still saved money on 2 meals, a beer and an OJ & lemonade which was ace.

Looking at the back of the card though, in the small print it says “Selected drinks range in London. Soft drinks only in Glasgow.”

It seems their reputation precedes them!

Ironically I filled in their online form and won a Beefburger. Bollocks.

Statistical Predator!

Just realised I have not posted anything stat-related on this website yet.



In order to rectify this, I give you:




Illegal in 9 countries, it stings the nostrils. In a good way.


As worn by Brian Fantana.

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Reflections on Edinburgh

We’ve been out of Edinburgh for 3 months now. Returning every day for work has kept some continuity but there’s no doubt that it’s been quite a change for us. To provide a memory aid and combat rose-tintedness, I thought I would make a list of things I miss and don’t miss about living in Edinburgh, now that I have a better perspective on it.

Things I miss:

• The immediacy of things. Cinema right around the corner. Shop right across the road. 3 pubs on my doorstep. 10 minute walk to work.
• The older lady in the Odeon who looks a bit like Mrs Doubtfire and says “thank you dear” when you give her your ticket.
• The guy in the shop across the road. Over 10 years we barely exchanged more than a handful of sentences, yet he still knew to buy in boxes of Space Raiders to feed my addiction! And his wife who always tried to short-change me.
• Ricebox – the greatest Chinese delivery service ever, with the most surly telephone operator you could imagine.
• Cable TV and in particular Cable broadband!!!
• The Real Foods shop. A wonderful selection of vegan food at extortionate prices, some sorry looking vegetables and oats. Lots and lots of oats. Staffed by our friendy Spanish neighbour, Nervous Boy and Weird Hairstyle Aussie Girl.

Things I don’t miss:

• The street cleaning machine that would travel down my street at 4am.
• Drunken idiots screaming at/fighting with each other at 2am.
• Junkies in my stairwell.
• The cold rattling windows in winter (all 9 months of it).
• The regular vandalism of my car.
• The constant noise and light, 24 hours a day.
• Having no friends living nearby.
• Carrying shopping up 3 flights of stairs.

So in summary, it is now quieter, with less local stuff. Which is fine by me. Instead I’ll drive to the cinema, binge drink in the house and bore friends and family with tales of how good cable broadband was.

My Days of Rice and Salt

Today I successfully finished reading “The Years of Rice and Salt” by Kim Stanley Robinson. All 772 pages of it. Off and on it took me about a year to get through it.

It is an alternate history, assuming that the entire population of Europe (with a few small exceptions, go Orkney!) was wiped out by the bubonic plague around the year 1200-1400. The story is told through the reincarnations of a small group of souls, and covers the period from the plague up to modern times.

Reading it was a real labour at first, as the first 100 pages or so were pretty dry and a bit confusing. However once I got past that the story really got going and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Robinson is an expert at characterisation and brings each of the dozens of characters and locations vividly to life.

It was interesting to see a world without Christianity, and in particular it’s effect on the North and South American people. All in all it came across quite realistically, albeit perhaps a little idealistic in places – a criticism that could also be levelled at his Mars trilogy of books.

Now I need to find something else to read. Iain M Banks “Use of Weapons” awaits me, but I think I’ll try something a bit lighter next.

Any suggestions?

On travelling North

This past weekend Janet and I took a day trip up to Aberdeen. We arrived at lunchtime and spent the entire day in pubs/beer gardens, followed by a nice Chinese meal. It was great to meet up again with Craig, Tosh, Steve and his girlfriend Kerry. The conversation flowed like the beer and it was just like our student days again, though with less Monty Python quotes.

A trip to Aberdeen always produces a mixture of emotions. On the one hand it is always nice to get back to familiar territory and meet up with old friends that I don’t see enough of. On the other hand the territory becomes less familiar each time as bars and shops are replaced with new ones that don’t have links to important times in my life.

However, if life has hammered one thing into my head repeatedly over the past few months, it is that change is inevitable. After many years where little changed other than my employer and (less often) my clothing style, 2008-09 has seen a massive amount of change. Firstly there were the kind souls who burgled our flat last June, enabling us to change all our electrical goods. Then there was the renovation of our flat in preparation for its sale. Just as that sale was being completed our beloved family cat Pyewacket died after contracting cancer. Finally the move out of the old homestead came in late June and with it a complete change to our daily lives and routines (mostly for the better!).

Change is something that should be embraced and despite my sentimental nature I am really enjoying the opportunities these changes have provided to break out of old routines and start anew. Soon enough we will be doing it all again and the cycle will repeat. I will aim to take the positive aspects from each cycle and apply them to the next in some sort of lifestyle samsara.

Aberdeen’s changes have been for the best. Old haunts have gone, but they were for the old me. The new ones will do fine for me now. And as with all things Aberdeen’s face may change, but the heart stays the same.

All hail the quiz kings!

After a seven week hiatus, our quiz team reconvened at the Chanter last night for a stab at the £50 bar tab prize. Going by the name “Curse Your Sudden But Inevitable Betrayal” we performed well, finishing with a storming movie/movie quotes double round to take the prize!

We beat regular quiz winners The Slackers much to Quizmaster Jules’ delight, Bagpuss were surprisingly crap and as usual the giant team of 12+ students failed miserably. (Can’t use your iPhone on the audio rounds guys ;) )

I think we knew we were onto a good thing when the first round was on Heavy Metal, and the first question “Which of the following band’s lead singer is homosexual?” was answered before Jules even gave the options. The answer was Judas Priest – I was wearing my Judas Priest t-shirt. All team members performed heroic question answering feats, we were like a well oiled machine!

The only downside to attending the quiz now is the hour drive home, meaning we only got home at 12.15AM. 6 hours sleep later it was time to get ready for work again, bah!

First Steps

So I have finally decided to start a blog! As yet I'm not sure of the direction this is going to take, so we'll see how it goes.

I've called it Statistical Anomaly mainly for the reason that I enjoy (yes, enjoy) mathematics and statistical analysis. The name came to me during half-sleep in the middle of last night so hopefully I'll find it as pleasing in the coming weeks, months, etc as I do now.

I've never been one for diaries, so I'll probably post on a variety of topics with a bit of the everyday stuff thrown in. Hopefully it'll be interesting enough to hold your (and my) attention!

To finish off my first blog I'll share a comment from the latest Answer Me This! podcast on the topic of emotions that made me laugh:

"But if we didn't have emotions what would we do? We'd
probably just sit around all day doing maths."